About Time

So it is about time I got back on this thing. I think for now I am going to kind of keep this a my personal blog. Maybe I will later change it over to a family tool, but for now I need it for me.

Quick overall update. My grandfather died last Monday. I really didn't handle it well and still really haven't finished the grieving process at all. I have struggled with a lot of anger over the whole thing. And then when I was ready to go to his funeral and really cry and start to move forward in the process, the funeral wasn't really a place for grieving. It was a great church service, but when the pastor did the homily about Eddie is was mostly about MCV, the parking deck, the ICU, the palliative care unit. Never a sad work or anything to make the tears come, that I so needed to cry. So I am really stuck in the process right now. I am hoping it will continue to move forward. I am avoiding my grandmother's, but I didn't realize that until recently. I am scared I will break down there. We will just have to see.

But with all of that going on I have decided to make some changes personally. It is time to take control of myself, my life, my priorities, etc. Now usually when I do this I try to make every change all at once and I so overwhelm myself that I burn out and give up quickly. So this time I got a lot of tools: Work out books and DVD's, financial books, cook books, cleaning supplies, etc, but I am going to add them in slowly.

Step Number 1. Since Monday night I have gone to bed early! Between 9pm and 10:30pm. That might not seem early to some people, but that is CRAZY early for me. But here it is Friday and I feel so much better. I was awake, alert, alive at work as soon as I got in this morning. That is a huge change. Hooray! I am starting to feel good.

Step 2. Wednesday and Thursday I added two things together for my step two. I have been sticking to Weight Watchers. I mean really sticking. Recording everything, drinking the water, etc. I am short on my diary, but I am on points, so I good start. I have also done Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred video the past two nights. Let me tell you I am feeling it! Yesterday I could feel it in my thighs. Today it is my thighs, chest and arms! It is a kick butt workout. It is really short- about 22-25 minutes, but it is built on circuits and really keeps you going. Warm up, 3 minutes strength, 2 minutes cardio, one minute abs, repeat circuit two more times, and cool down. Wow, it works. I am hoping that when I weigh in Tuesday I will have something to show for it.

So only two steps so far, but they are a good start. I have even been laying out my clothes most nights or having an idea for the next day, so I am getting out the door faster. So small changes, but good results so that is the best way to start.

Weekend plans- it is Randy's birthday weekend (he gets the whole weekend because he is a leap-day baby and there is no 29th this year). So far he says he doesn't want to do anything. It bothers me because I LOVE birthdays and think they should always be a big deal! But it is his birthday so I need to let him choose. I think he wants to install his mom's microwave tomorrow. I will probably go to the gym while he does that. I will still do the 30 Day Shred video but add in some cardio like Zumba tomorrow. It will be good for me. Church Sunday and maybe Zumba again. We will just have to see.

Oh yes, and I have started the Love Dare today. Day One is saying nothing negative towards your spouse- in my case future spouse. I have already learned I like to use sarcasm to kind of make a point of something I don't agree with. Already today I have had to bite my tongue and say nothing until I can think of something positive to say or come up with a question. So I think this will be good for us. Definitely will be an eye opening experience for me.

OK I think that is it for now. I have a 30 minute massage at 1pm today that I won in last year's Biggest Loser Contest. It expired at the end of this month. I am looking forward to it! A good way to start the weekend!